Dating Advice for Men: Why a woman won't go on a second date

A few days ago you went on a date with a woman, and you thought you both had a great time. The next day you left her a message telling her that you enjoyed her company and that you would like to take her out again soon.
But well… she isn’t getting back to you or is declining the invitation without further explanation.

What happened?
You can’t figure it out. You’re starting to think that maybe it was the voicemail you left. Were you supposed to wait two days before calling? Did you sound too excited, borderline “desperate”??

Chances are it’s something else.
It may be that you failed to emotionally connect with your date.
When a woman leaves a date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. You need to share something emotional with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience.

Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.
When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" These answers form the basis for a relationship.

One way is to start paying attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the name of her pet, where she grew up, her last ski trip, what kind of food she enjoys. Remembering your conversations is key. Take notes if you have to!! Then next time you may ask to take her to that little Italian restaurant she mentioned.

This is how you show that you are not the average Joe, but someone special, someone who cares and is connected to her.

-Estelle
Estelle is the president/owner of Estelle Matchmaking, LLC a boutique matchmaking service for selective singles in the NYC area (including Westchester and Fairfield Counties) and South Florida.

Tips for Dating After a Divorce - What About the Children?

The idea of getting back into the dating scene after years being married is daunting at best. Dating can be especially tricky if you have children.  But, we humans are instinctively drawn to partnering up. So chances are very good that sooner or later you (along with nearly every other divorced person) will be dipping your toe into the waters of dating after divorce.

There are many things to consider when making the choice to begin dating after your divorce. Perhaps one of the toughest is what to say to your children. This discussion will depend largely on your children’s age.

With pre-teens and young teens (11-14) It's OK to actually use the word date. You aren't going to freak out your child. Chances are good that he or she already has a good idea of what dating is all about! And this includes dating after divorce. For example, "I'm going out on a date on Thursday. I'm wondering how you feel about me starting to date." Note: This does not mean that you are asking your child's permission to date.

With teens (15-20) it is important to be honest about your actions. For example, "I'd like to start dating. It's been long enough after the divorce that I am ready to meet some new people. I'm wondering how you feel about that." Since your teens are also likely dating, it is important to talk with them about how it may be awkward to have a parent dating at the same time.

Most professionals agree that parents should keep their dating relationships private and away from children until the relationship is serious. Only you can decide what "serious" means for you.

You're going to have a lot of ups and downs on your way to new love, but knowing how to speak to your children can make it a little easier

-Estelle
Estelle is the president/owner of Estelle Matchmaking, LLC a boutique matchmaking service for selective singles in the NYC area (including Westchester and Fairfield Counties) and South Florida.

Advice for Women: Getting Ready For a Date

Men spend a fair amount of time planning a date with a woman. They also invest a significant amount of money on dinner and drinks. On our end, we ladies are expected to invest some time and effort in properly getting ready for that same event. Here is my take on what a lady should do.

1. Obviously hygiene is extremely important. Therefore, try to avoid going on a date straight from the office where you have already spent eight or nine hours!  Go home and take a quick shower. Wash and blow dry your hair (if you usually go to the hairdresser, maybe you could schedule your visits according to your dating calendar). Brush your teeth. Spritz a little perfume (a little!!) and don’t forget to wear deodorant (and that’s coming from a French woman :-)
2. A fresh coat of nail polish is always nice but is not a necessity. But make sure your nails are clean and filed evenly. And please remove any remaining chipped nail polish.
3. Wear make-up that’s subtle and enhances your features. Start by brightening the area around your eyes, nose and lips with some light shade concealer. Brush a bit of bronzer (I am a fan of Guerlain’s Terracotta bronzers) on your cheeks, forehead and nose to look sun-kissed. Wear some mascara (no clumps!) that will elongated your eyelashes. You may add a  touch of sheer lipstick or gloss for glamour.
4. Slip into that elegant dress and high heels.

And tada!! You are ready to win his heart.

What to Wear on a Date (What Men Like)

Women often ask me what they should wear on a date. Men like a woman to be feminine but NOT vulgar. Showing too much skin is highly unappealing therefore leave the outrageous cleavage, high boots and tennis skirt in your closet. And please no jackets, they're just too boxy.

Try to look sexy yet conservative.Choose a skirt or a dress that accentuates your curves. Audrey Hepburn's little black dress in Breakfast at Tiffany's would be a great pick! And don't forget a pair of high heels that are comfortable enough to walk in.

Dating Advice from Estelle Matchmaking: What to do on the first and second date

It is always best to keep a first date simple so you can focus on each other and not stress too much over the logistics. I always recommend a dinner date for a first date. Dinner versus a drink allows you enough time to create a connection with the person you are meeting. The restaurant should be on the small size and quiet enough that you can hear each other without screaming.

After you have made that first connection, here are some great second date ideas that will make it a fun and memorable one.

•  Bowling
• Baking Class (Le Pain Quotidien has great classes where you can learn to make challah, breads and pizza)
• Central Park Zoo
• Museum evening/day exhibit
• Sign up for a dance class

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Welcome to the Estelle Matchmaking Blog

Read the daily dating advice and tips from a New York Matchmaker, Estelle of Estelle Matchmaking.  Learn insider secrets from a professional match maker, image consultant and dating coach.

Estelle provides sincere, constructive and helpful advice on how to foster successful relationships and how to navigate the dating world.